Week 13 (4/8 - 4/12)

Week 13

Stages and phases of family life:

 Middle adulthood

Challenges and opportunities associated with middle adulthood:

• o   mid life crisis
• o   teenage children- wanting to follow outside influences
• o   finances
• o   retirement plans
• o   changing family dynamics
• o   Empty nester
• o   Children varying ages
• o   Changing technology
• o   Traveling
• o   Grandparents getting older and needing to take care of them
• o   Medical expenses
• o   More time

A lot of people face the following when they reach middle age: 

Generativity- Feeling like you have a legacy

Stagnation- Feeling like you have no contributed much- like your not growing and developing.

Integrity VS despair

Based on how people view things and whether they learn something from them

I hope that I am ready for these changes when I am reaching middle age. There will be many things that come my way, but I am excited to make the best of them.

Week 12 (4/1 - 4/5)

Week 12

This week we talked about a scary subject- Divorce. When it comes to marriage and family, this is my least favorite thing to talk about, but I recognize that it is crucial to be aware of the statistics so that I might be able to avoid it happening to me one day. Here are some of the statistics which show that divorce overall is not a good thing and usually results in regret from both parties:

• 70% of ex-couples 2 years after the divorce believe they made a mistake
• 70% of men are re-married after

Therefore- the data tells us that it is better to stick it out because in the end you will have less regret.

• The typical divorce costs over $100,000 in the first 5 years 
• Divorced men are more likely to get remarried within 3 years
• In California 70% of the women are filing for divorce

Week 11 (3/25 - 3/29)

Week 11

           This week we learned a lot about parenting and a lot of the different approaches associated with it. Here are some of the key things that I learned that I thought would be important to remember as I one day become a parent myself:

Often when we think of discipline we think of punishment- that does not always have to be the case.

Who owns the problem? The person who’s goal or purpose is being frustrated.

Sometimes the parent owns the problem and sometimes the teen owns the problem- sometime it is shared.

If the teen owns the problem- use gentle coaching, opportunities to help them make wise decisions and learn from the natural consequences of those decisions.

            Natural consequence- Out of your control

                        Use except when consequences are:

                                    1. Too dangerous

                                    2. Too far in the future to be a good teacher

                                    3. It affects someone else

If the parent owns the problem use:

1. Polite requests
2. Firm requests
3. “I” messages
4. Logical consequences
• Given by the parent

Week 10 (3/18 - 3/22)

Week 10

This week we learned a lot about finances and the effect that they have on the family. We discussed as a class the fact that working outside of the home is actually more damaging to the family than it is worth. The following are some the things that we discussed:

Sometimes an additional income is not actually the best option for a family

• -       often the families end up earning less after accounting for the expenses associated with both working
• -       Family- paying 40,500 for her to go to work with car and such
•    Its typical for a second earner to average 1$ or less each hour

Specific practices/principles that would have a good impact on the family:

         1 .     Pay an honest tithing

a.     Can actually strengthen families

b.     Takes care of more than just the physical needs

c.      Should begin young

d.     Work to recognize the blessings

        2.     Self discipline and restraint

        3.     Budgeting- teach children to budget

a.     Reduce conflict

b.     Prioritize

c.      Rewards come- especially in time of conflict

d.     Able to save a lot of money

        4.     Eliminating debt

a.     Going into debt carefully

b.     Relieve stress

         5.     Teach children to work

a.     Shows good example

b.     Build resilience

Week 9 (3/11-3/22)

Week 9

This week we learned a lot about communication and how to make good use of the

Council Method

I had the following experience with this council method:

I learned a lot form my experience in utilizing the Council Method to make important decisions with someone else. I put this Counsel Method to use with my boyfriend as we discussed and important subject in order to reach a mutual understanding and agreement. It proved very helpful to both of us as we both understood the purpose for our communication. I think that it really helped going to a safe place where the spirit could be felt and inviting the spirit through a prayer. Doing this reminded me of my mission. I think that it turned out very well and I plan on doing it again many times in the future as other agreements need to be made. As far as future improvements, I would probably give ourselves more time to talk so that we don't feel as rushed. This was a wonderful learning opportunity for me.

The steps of the Council Method are:

1. Meet at predetermined time and place with minimal interruptions.
2. Open with a prayer.
3. Express love and appreciation for one another.
4. Use a plan or agenda- available before meeting
5. Discuss with one another while reaching consensus regarding what the Lord would have done.
6. Close with a prayer.
7. Enjoy refreshments together.

Week 8 (3/4-3/8)

Week 8

This week we learned about stressors that come upon a family and some of the effective ways of coping together as a family when faces with potentially devastating trials. In preparation for the class we were asked to list some of the greatest stressor events faced by our families and some of the thoughts associated with them. Here is my list:

Significant stressor events faced by my family:

1.     Moving to Weare NH and digging a well

2.     Having Milton house foreclosed on

a.     “why did we move there in the first place?”

3.     Having an inactive daughter living at home

a.     What has she done with herself?

4.     Having an inactive daughter living out of the home

a.     ‘She’s just being so stupid”

5.     Moving to Montana

a.     “why would they move so far away?”

6.     Moving back to NH

7.     Dad losing his job

8.     Dad needing to seek entry level employment due to lack of education

9.     Sister having appendix burst

10.  4 year loan modification on Antrim house

As you can see, my family has not had anything too dramatic happen, but has found a lot of stress in moving. There are many good and bad outcomes that have come from moving so much, but I am thankful that my family has always stuck together throughout these moves and we are dedicated to helping one another out. 

One of my families best coping strategies is in the way we hold to our routines and traditions. No matter what we have always continued going to church and doing things such as Family Home Evening and daily scripture study and family prayer. Doing these simple things has really helped my family along the way.